Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, confidants, and those you want to draw closer are people you trust. These are the people who have either earned or gained access to the vulnerable places in your very being, not just access to your heart, but your mind, spirit, soul, and personality as well. Such access comes with the expectation that it will be valued, appreciated, and respected.
Throughout our lives, though, the people who have access to those parts of us change. Somehow our trust is broken, expectations are shattered, and the access others once knew is revoked. Instead of sweeping up and moving forward, I have found most people (including myself in times past) leave the broken pieces on the ground, forcing everyone else who remain behind to walk barefoot across those sharp edges. Simply put, we punish those closest to us for the disappointments we have endured as a result of others who have broken our trust.
A broken relationship, friendship, kinship, and/or fellowship is the result of broken trust. If we can admit this concept, then we can understand what God wants us to see because of our shattered expectations.
Genesis 50:20-21 (KJV) But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. 21Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.
- God uses hurt to help you.
Regardless of anyone who has hurt you and what that person meant to you, God has a plan. Yes, the evil act was cruel and it broke you, but God allowed it because the act was for your own benefit!
God gave Joseph the dream of his destiny. Joseph expected his family’s support, encouragement, and belief in his dream. Instead, his brothers hated him for it and tried to kill Joseph! Their actions ultimately allowed Joseph to discover what God was trying to show him! Joseph came to understand that his dream would not have been realized if his brothers had NOT done what they did!
God will allow people to hurt you, motivate you, and separate you so you can realize the dream He gave you! Others may have broken your trust and shattered your expectations…they may have hurt you, but recognize that God is using such an experience for your good!
Romans 8:28 (KJV)
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
It hurt, but it is for your own good!
- God uses your hurt to help others.
It is funny how Joseph understood that his suffering was serving a bigger purpose to help other people. As mentioned above, Joseph intended “to save much people alive.”
Gifts and callings are given TO you, but they are not FOR you! Use your gift to help others. The same applies with situations you encounter and endure along the way. You were hurt so you could help someone else! Joseph’s pain occurred so that all of Egypt could survive. He did not know all of Egypt, but he helped to save it nonetheless. Your hurt can help people you may not know, but those unnamed individuals will not be able to survive if you are not there to help them. Your hurt and brokenness serve to help others.
- Help those who hurt you.
It is true — just because they broke you does not mean it is okay to reciprocate that pain and brokenness. In helping others, especially people who have hurt you, God’s purpose is fulfilled through you. Les Brown said it best: “Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”
Job 42:10 (KJV) And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.
Proverbs 25:21-22 (KJV) If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.
Matthew 5:44-45 (KJV) But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
There is a greater blessing waiting for you once you let go of anger, frustration, and pain in order to do well for others, even those who hurt you. So, even though your trust is broken and your expectations shattered, be a blessing anyway. God has special rewards for those who do! This includes you!